Mile-high Club Hopeful T-Shirts

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

'What zip code are we in now?'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Football Skills

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Not The Real Me

Vaccine passport required

'Have you heard the fisherman's song. . .To dream the impossibe bream.'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

I'm pinning up next year's chart. You've got high hopes.

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

Mile high skydivers

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Your track coach expects a speedy recovery."

"That's very deep house."

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

This club is for members only

Angel Nightclub: The Head of a Pin.

'...But my stupid parents said no!!'

Billy strip: wanting to be taller.

'On your marks, get set, schmo. On your marks, get set, joe. On your marks, get set...'

Runner thinking about sleeping.

'You're on our shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"No, you can't go sledding. It's too dangerous and besides, you have football practice."

In 'n out lung transplant.

"Hi, may I offer you something to vomit at the next patch of turbulence?"

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'