Mild Mannered Foodie Gifts

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'The Burrito King.'

Banana Split Personality

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Give quiche a chance!

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Diner

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Baloneystini

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."