Midnight Snack Master Gifts

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Hungry child

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

Bedside Manna.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

Pizza and Related Searches.

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'You were up four times last night.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

Diet Enforcer

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"