Midnight Mass Gifts

For those who think Christmas midnight mass is at 10pm. . . Father has left shovels for you to clear the snow from the parking lot for those of us who will be attending the midnight mass beginning at MIDNIGHT!

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

Jesus breaks the bread.

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

Insomnia.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Damned if they do and damned if they don't? This is BRILLIANT work, everybody! Why didn't we think of this before?"

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

Wife leaving note 'midnight mass' on husbands distended stomache as she leaves house.

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

Woman in bed unable to sleep.

"Wow, it's only eleven – that still leaves time for me to ruin tomorrow by staying up doing nothing on the Internet."

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

New parents shocked at having slept through the night.

"Why does she wait until I'm sleeping to knock the pencil around the apartment?"

I can't sleep! 3:07. I can't get up. I feel so all alone.

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."

Think / Don't think signs.

'Note to myself: Next time I'm wide awake half the night, just get up, DO NOT fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off!'

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

“Let’s run with the masala chai this morning, but go easy with the ground ginger.”

Things my cat says at 3 am

"I can't sleep. I think I'll get up and solve all my problems."

24-hour Hot Dog Machine.