Midlife Self-love Journey Pillows

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Does this make me think I look good?"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."