Midlife Self-love Journey T-Shirts

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Does this make me think I look good?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

Narcissus' Cat.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'