Midlife Style Exploration Pillows

"Please tell me you're not going dapper in your old age."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Lawrence of Suburbia

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."