Midlife Style Exploration Pillows

"Please tell me you're not going dapper in your old age."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

ZZZZZZZ Top

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Lawrence of Suburbia

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."