Midge Survivor Pillows

'Hello Angus...I didn't recognise you.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Desert Island BBQ

What price beauty?

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Stop hogging the sheets

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"Relax, Billy, they're just braces, even I had them when I was your age."

Dadonomics

Why are you here?

Let's talk about the weather.

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

Computers - Best Before 31/12/99

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

Chat host's irritation at 'Hello, how are you?' greeting.

Hi-Tech Supplies, Year 2000 compatible systems in stock now

"Life was beautiful. Then I read the comments."

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

D*mn it.

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

It came from the group thread

"Hi I'm Trevor, I'm new here!"

What do you do...I don't know why I'm asking, I don't give a toss...

"I only kill the messenger if PowerPoint is involved."

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

Small talk vortex

Mosquito Season

"So, Dianne tells me you work in the realm of the explainable."

The Grim Reaper

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'