Middle-class Raconteur T-Shirts

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Non Thought For The Day.

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

Yesh Atid

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Max Beerbohm

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The most sought after profession in 2010 is stressed out, middle class, soccer mom on medical marijuana.

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

The Recovery

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

'Down on the farm!'

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

Hire car is overtaken and dominated by 4x4 'Higher car'.

"In the bad old days, Nigel used to spend much of his time drinking and 'picking up birds'. . ."

Prince Charles celebrates Queen's abdication.

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

"Considering my cash flow, best practices would prescribe that you pick up the check."

The less you know

"I'm pulling down nearly six figures these days. Five, to be exact."

'Talk about a spread. I bet his will go 38 inches.'

A middle-aged mid-level executive, middle class, with a mid-size car makes a daring choice...

'Wow, and I thought my mum and dad piled on the middle-class pressure.'

"When I was your age we didn't have mouths."

"Sir, – May I share with you the benefits of accepting all cookies?"