Rank And File Raconteur T-Shirts

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

"Pretty good day. I wasn't linked to anything incriminating."

"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"The employer-employee bond is sometimes difficult to sever."

"Great first quarter guys but I'm a little concerned about the future."

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

The world's oldest braided rug

'You can always tell the ones with the big severance buyouts.'

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."

'Down on the farm!'

Man wetting himself in a toilet queue.

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

"Considering my cash flow, best practices would prescribe that you pick up the check."

The less you know

'Talk about a spread. I bet his will go 38 inches.'

How to read a modern roof rack.

"Sir, – May I share with you the benefits of accepting all cookies?"