Middle-aged Siblings Pillows

You know you're middle aged...

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

Likes: $2.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"It's an Eyesaur."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'