Becoming An Older Sibling Pillows

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

"And I thought I was irreplaceable."

'He's at the age where he's too old to be cute and too young be sensible!'

'Pat-a-cake? -- Sorry, but that part of my life is over.'

'Well, I'm sure not going to be the first one out!'

'I'm looking forward to when he's 5 years old so I can boss him around.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Likes: $2.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"