Middle-aged Misfit T-Shirts

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

'You know you're 40 when...'

"Armand, which summer did we become chair people?"

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

'A cocoon? Boy, he is having a mid-life crisis!'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

'No batteries needed, but you have to be menopausal to make them work.'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

'Look, can't you take it in turns to do the daily Sudoku?'

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"