Microscopes Gifts

'Take this slide and S-T-E-R-I-L-I-Z-E it.'

"On my last birthday, I received a microscope with a resolution so powerful I was able to watch single-celled organisms divide to create new life. Even with the aid of that microscope, you still could not see the f**k I don't give for your book."

Coronavirus

"They say kids with ADD have a hard time staying focused. What do they know?!"

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Subatomic particles

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

Cell splitting - don't do that.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'ADN'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

Bacteria fame at last.

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"We've discovered two new organisms growing from school gym lockers."

"I feel so seen right now."

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

Professor Urquat makes his final contribution to the world of science.

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"