Microphone Collector T-Shirts

Strictly off the record.

'No comment!'

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Nuts to you, too."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Jazz is Invented

Six jazz instruments.

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Waking Up With Rooster.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Try his land line.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'Music & Gym'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Gramaphone Man.

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

His master's voice

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"