Microphone Collector Gifts

Strictly off the record.

'No comment!'

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Jazz is Invented

"Nuts to you, too."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Six jazz instruments.

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"What are you doing?"

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Waking Up With Rooster.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'Try his land line.'

'Music & Gym'

Robert Drake

So close... Yet so far.

Gramaphone Man.

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

Doug tries to impress his blind date with his expansive collection of Charo CDs.

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

At the CD shop.