Microbe Philosopher T-Shirts

"Turns out I'm not the wise old paramecium I thought I was."

"I'm going to get you fired."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"Ever killed a man?"

Friendly bacteria

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"I feel so seen right now."

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'This is quite a thrill. I've never been on electron microscope before.'

Louis Pasteur

Adios Amoebas

Scientist to scientist looking in microscope: 'Be careful - they sense fear.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

"What I really hate is preventive medicine. They go after us before we even do anything."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

Bacteria doing their anaerobic exercises.

Sporozoa: One of the earliest philosophers.

'I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!'

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Friendly bacteria of the human gut.

'My favorites are Leeuwenhoek, who proved we exist, and Pasteur, who showed the world we have some clout.'

"Femember, if they catch you and put you in a vaccine, you're working for the enemy."

'Looks like a virus.'

"Don't you remember me? I'm Pete, we met in Mrs Johnson's large intestine."

What I'd really like to do is get out of this petri dish and go infect the world.

The Joy of Asexual Reproduction

'He spoke in millions. Then I learned he was a bacteriologist.'

'Take god care of your bacteria! it may well be the only culture you'll ever have....'

"First of all, I'd like to thank the bacteria"

"Dudes! Lets hit the scopes!"

Scientist looking down microscope - "My God! They're at it again.."