Microbe Maniac T-Shirts

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Bad news - that new antibiotic has just about put us on the endangered-species list.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Free-Floating Anxiety

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'Catch this!'

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

Lyme Disease Research Lab

"Ever killed a man?"

Asexual harassment.

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

Friendly bacteria

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

"I feel so seen right now."

'This is quite a thrill. I've never been on electron microscope before.'

Louis Pasteur

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

Scientist to scientist looking in microscope: 'Be careful - they sense fear.'

'Pierre...It's garbage night!'

"What I really hate is preventive medicine. They go after us before we even do anything."

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

'Look, more Unidentified Gawping Objects.'

Bacteria doing their anaerobic exercises.

Journalist interviewing a bird.

'I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!'