Mic Master Gifts

Frankie Boyle

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

'They all want to play the star.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

George Michael

Dialogue

Horti-Culture

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"An everything Martini, please."

Hildegard von Bingen

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

Dynamite little combo

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

A baby playing on a grand piano

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Quartet.

Orchestra conductor

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Kultural K9's.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Malcolm Sargent

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Edvard Grieg

'He's working on a lullaby.'

Veloci-Rapper

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Karaoke night.

Street Organ - Monkey

Robbie Williams

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."