Metro Mavericks Gifts

Rush-hour turnstile chicken

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

Banksters privatize the profits and socialize the losses

You'll never get anywhere as a sculptor, Ernie, until you learn to let the chips fall where they may.

Beethoven's 10th

"Apparently night shifts undermine our health..."

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'My advice? Invest in 'rRising Star' in the first race at Belmont. But what do I know? I'm just the boss' bookie.'

New Milks

'This one holds 1200 songs AND it automatically screens out all the ones your parents could stand.'

'I've given up my vegetarian diet - it's just too darn hard to find a vegetarian.'

August Kekule's dream

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is an uptown train a hundred and two stations away."

Pentagon Science Contest: 'So turning our moon into an inter-galactic spaceship is possible?'

'Hello Ms. Russel, I'm going to be late in. I'm being held up at Euston.'

N.Y. Counterfeit Press.

'We're now in a good position to move the company forward.'

A penny earned is quickly eaten up by inflation.

'Well, another important meeting, and once again, I seem to be the only one from the department who remembered to wear his game face!'

Men climbing mountain "It's been done"

The musical duo's piece was never destined to make it into the top-ten.

“It’s not working because you’re on the wrong side of the fence – look, I’m pulling and it’s not working. I can’t believe you don’t see this …”

Bar Code Cows.

Coming soon from the United States Transit Authority: the coast-to-coast subway!

Businesses begin to explore new media in which to place their messages

Next Train

'I know it wouldn't hurt them to come! Maybe that's why they're not here.'

Mike's New Chopper caused much comment among the cognoscenti.

'Fast Lane' 'Slow lane' 'People who don't have time to fight with other traffic' lane

'Mrs Wanzenberg! How wonderful to meet a kindred spirit!'