Metric Muse T-Shirts

"Sale on 38 Liter Hats."

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

Poetry repairman

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

'Be honest - do I have someone stuck in my teeth?'

"The AI art generator became self-aware, and now it just procrastinates and questions itself."

Ship of fools.

An octopus admiring an inkblot painting

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

Little known fact: Man progressed from the stone age to the bronze age after Thag read an issue of the Journal of Metals.

'My financial philosophy is a cross between Harry Truman's 'the buck stops here,' and Ronald Reagan's 'trickle down.' It's 'the trickle down stops here.''

A man and a suitcase each board a bus separately.

'That 'multiplication table' seems contrived to me!'

It appears the robots have skipped consciousness and gone straight to self-consciousness.

Painting of a wave in a calm sea.

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."