Metric Muse T-Shirts

"Sale on 38 Liter Hats."

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

Poetry repairman

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

'Be honest - do I have someone stuck in my teeth?'

"The AI art generator became self-aware, and now it just procrastinates and questions itself."

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

Ship of fools.

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

An octopus admiring an inkblot painting

Little known fact: Man progressed from the stone age to the bronze age after Thag read an issue of the Journal of Metals.

A man and a suitcase each board a bus separately.

'My financial philosophy is a cross between Harry Truman's 'the buck stops here,' and Ronald Reagan's 'trickle down.' It's 'the trickle down stops here.''

'That 'multiplication table' seems contrived to me!'

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

Painting of a wave in a calm sea.

"Call in a couple of months or sooner if you notice water in the Bilge"

'We're gaining market share in the areas where we lose money.'