Metric Martyr Pillows

Non-metric speak your weight machine

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Poetry repairman

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

"Do you have a few minutes to talk about the metric system?"

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"We're all metric now..."

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

'Yes, my good man, we'll have the '02 Vin de Table - and make it the 1.5 meter bottle.'

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

'You still don't understand the metric system do you?'

'Got a quarter?'

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

'We're gaining market share in the areas where we lose money.'

"Oh, here comes Melvin the Martyr. Just because he got here by a firing squad, he thinks he's 'holier than thou'."

The why-can't-this-event-be-in-miles-like-other-sports-on-this-country 10K.

'But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring.'

'Looks like he's hitting his targets'

Supermarket. 'Half a pound of ham please'.'It's kilos now sir'.'Half a pound of kilos then!'

"I prefer the metric system. 18 centimeters sounds better than 7 inches."

Echonomics Point

"The guy who didn’t know his cholesterol, his B.M.I., his net worth, his I.Q., his credit score, his astrological sign, or his ancestry."

"I'm from Europe. It's a 37.854 liter hat."

"You'll appreciate that it's now half a kilo of tuppeny rice."