Metric Marvels Pillows

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Motivation to work

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Poetry repairman

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

Things move fast round here! Including the new processor!

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"A man and his choo-choo."

'Darn good oil that!'

Clown on a motorised unicycle.

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

Aqueduct

'The volcano is in the shop.'

'Yes, my good man, we'll have the '02 Vin de Table - and make it the 1.5 meter bottle.'

Swiss Army Tank.

"I dumbed it down."

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

Chicken Engineer

'Appleton! Go in for Ludwig!'

Steeplejack.

'Well, there is definitely water in the carburettor.'

'We're gaining market share in the areas where we lose money.'

"It's not a bullet hole - it's a cavity."