Meter Reading Amateur Gifts

"The Smorgasbord came to read your meter, but you were out."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"You like long walks in the rain? Great! My dog will love you!"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all -- we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

'I'm applying for the job emptying fas metres.'

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

"Not again."

"It's either a cannabis farm or they're heavily into AI!"

Solar eclipse 2024

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

'Got a quarter?'

'We're gaining market share in the areas where we lose money.'

'Go girl!'

"The 10-week course costs $600 and takes an hour and a half to complete."