Metaphysicist Gifts

Introduction to Metaphysics.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Lost and Profound.

'Heidegger-Hi!'

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

Philosophers studying meta-physical chemistry.

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

Mathematician on the couch.

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'Remember, Stevens, things are rarely what they appear to be.'

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

"Who would like to discuss the concept of free will?"