Metaphorical Thinker T-Shirts

"No matter what Mr Jones, I am sure we can pull you through!"

My Dad rides it but it doesn't go anywhere. It's sort of a metaphor for his existence.

"Nation-building never works."

Reading my Critics

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Sisyphus visits Stowe

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Out of control

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

A Poem about Sand

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Id/Ego/Superego.

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Priest with the Pet Devil.

A voodoo doctor.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'