Metaphor Mechanic T-Shirts

Poetry repairman

"Nation-building never works."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Electric Blanket.

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

Enlightened Cursing

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"I've been feeling a bit empty lately."

'So push has come to shove...'

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

Poet becomes a puppeteer for his own hand.

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

Metaphors.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"My next poem is written in the shape of a woman's body."

Childhood's End

Two plugged in lovers try to reach each other, and in doing so, become unplugged.

'You talk in riddles!' 'I'M A POET!

"It's true! I heard this Bedouin boy calling us "ships of the desert". What on earth is a ship?"

"I can't see it lasting!"

The corner that Spring's around