Tech Metaphor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's over between us, Brian. Like your GPS, I'm recalculating."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"You are still here."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Social Media

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Pollsters

"Television sets evolved from animals. My randpop remembers when they had rabbit ears!"

AI Summit

Abandoned Vehicles Along The Information Superhighway.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

Computer Sale.

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"Aren't these old eighties phones tiny!"