Metal Accessories Fan Pillows

'I've told you before: Don't let your tongue touch your nose-ring when it's very cold!'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Pirate trying on parrots.

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Ducks crossing.

'This watch goes up to fifty-nine seconds a minute!'

A Heavy Metal Musician.

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'Dude! How many years have we been here? It's still fake. The plants are fake. Get a grip!'

Headbanging Woodpecker.

Steel fabricator

Witch doctor rear view mirror ornaments.

"Ever get the feeling you're in the wrong army?"

"You're carrying a spare tire for an 18-wheeler but you're driving a mid-size sedan."

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

"I thought that open-hearth furnace was a little too open."

'Heavy Metal or not, I'm your mother! One bad word, and I'm going to wash out your mouth with this bar of soap'!

"Hey hey! Found a quarter!"

Finishing Line

'So sorry, I thought you were an Anthony Gormley.'