Meta Marvel Gifts

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

The Artist

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

Grimm's Reality Tales.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Phoenix

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'I hate frisking magicians!'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

New Marvel Heroes

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

We all know the negotiation table, but how about the negotiation chair?

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

The Greatest Mime in the World

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

'People soup again?'

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

Escaping a desert island

Houdini's Dog.

'According to this list, this list is ranked #4 on the greatest lists of all time.'

'How's your research on nuclear waste disposal going?'

"Do you believe me now? Look at him — he poured my water bowl on your head, not me. He drew us. He controls everything!"

What's that? It's my second published book. It's called "The Official Biography of Rudy Park, the Loser Who Allegedly Works at my Local Caf