Messenger From Above Gifts

Uh-Oh...

Text Culture

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Ruddy bloggers!

Target your message

I love you.

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

Modern Cupid

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

The early version of accidentally hitting 'reply all.'

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

Message in a bottle.

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

Letter to God

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

"If we stay on message, I think our silo can puncture their balloon."

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'Took me all night to write that message.'

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'Wait, I've got it! This ad is going to actually say something! Now, what will it say?'

"Crap, I hit reply all."

Boxers disturbing the occupier of the room below

"I wish the king didn't send a raven for every random thought that enters his head."

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'