Mess-experts Pillows

"Yuck, a bone in my bedroom!"

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Happy now?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

Untidy bedroom

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

"Cool game!"

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

No, I seriously doubt a DNA test would exonerate you.

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'