Mess Aficionado Gifts

Broom cupboard: 'Please book early for Christmas party'.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"A little help, please."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I will answer anything but questions."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Fido and Fifi

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

Newspaper

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'You're honoured, Mr. Coombes - He won't do that for just anyone!'

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

The Croucho Club

Someone has had a hard day!

Boomerang fetching

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'