Mess Aficionado Gifts

My motto is "A place for everything and everything all over the place".

Broom cupboard: 'Please book early for Christmas party'.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"A little help, please."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"There, all neat and tidy!"

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I will answer anything but questions."

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Fido and Fifi

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

Newspaper

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'You're honoured, Mr. Coombes - He won't do that for just anyone!'

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

Someone has had a hard day!

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

Boomerang fetching

The Croucho Club

"Hey. That's my Roscoe. I always thought he liked that game."

Steadman - The Early Years.