Merger Mediator T-Shirts

"The employees from the two companies are adapting very well to the merger. I wish I could say the same about the computer systems!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Dialogue

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Collective Psyche

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

"At least we agree to disagree."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'