Mediator T-Shirts

'This is not the kind of 'out of court settlement' I had in mind.'

Mediation at the OK Corral.

"He misspoke, I misheard, then shots rang out."

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

Come over here.

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'I'm sorry...what other options are there?'

'I'll agree to a fifty-fifty split, but I get the hyphen.'

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'Hey... lets calm down. I think we are all just trying to say the same thing.'

Dialogue

The elephant in the room.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

'Sometimes it's good to see the big picture.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd encourage a more conciliatory approach to conflict management."

'Bring in the Conflict Resolution Team.'

Rock, paper and scissors fighting in office conference room.

'There is no one who understands me.'

'Let's meet halfway.'

'Excellent - it's unanimous!'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

'A good negotiator can stand back and gain perspective.'

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

'These upcoming negotiations are going to be rough Jekyll, son you better send Hyde.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"At some point we'll sit down and resolve our differences, but for now the plan is to continue exchanging bitchy emails."