Merger Consultant T-Shirts

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"I think the magic has gone out of their merger."

Bar code meeting

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

'Your two o'clock to discuss teh merger is here.'

'The Dorvil people feel that the merger was a mistake. They want out, they want half the company's assets and they want child support.'

'And I can assure you, Bob, those rumours of a hostile takeover are completely false!'

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

"It's the perfect screen-saver for our department."

"It's not your typical merger."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Fish and color

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."