Merger Analyst T-Shirts

"I don't think this merger between the text and the cartoons is working out."

For sale

"It's not your typical merger."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

Fish and color

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."