Menu Planning Gifts

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I sent out for everything.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Chez Nous Menu

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Before/After

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Horn of Leftovers

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."