Menu Curator Pillows

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chops

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Is the MSG local?"

Party time.

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"....and hold the garlic."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

'Carb or non-carb section?'

"You get free veggies when you order meatloaf -- We call it the 'peas dividend.'"

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"