Menu Collector Gifts

A la Carte

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

MKT Diner

"....and hold the garlic."

"Chicken's off"

The Seafood House. Comic Waiters. The Seafood House now has comedians for waiters. Fish and quips!

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

Does this restaurant allow substitutions? Menu. If we did, do you think you'd be sitting here right now?

"You get free veggies when you order meatloaf -- We call it the 'peas dividend.'"

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Yes, we do serve children, but not as meals.'

"What do you have that doesn't taste like me?"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Come dine with me!

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the MSG local?"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."