Menu Choices T-Shirts

"I never have a starter. That way I have room for 3 puddings!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Menu Dating

"Is the MSG local?"

"Two vegans, please."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Heart Disease Menu

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

Biden Workload

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Which free tote goes best?"

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."