Menu Appreciation Pillows

"Is the MSG local?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Menu Dating

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Grandma's caf

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Back in 5 minutes!

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I might just get a pie."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

WHACK!

Am Awful Crammer.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Old Spice

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

Slow food restaurant

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'