Mental State Adventurer T-Shirts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Wall St. or True Love.

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

Ego Increasing School

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

Neurotics in the tropics

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"You have got to want to change."

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

SELF-ESTEEM CLINIC, 'The little-bitty door is a nice touch.'

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Agoraphobic Explorer

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

NO crying in the wilderness after 10 PM.

"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide...in a sports bar with Andrew and Phil."

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"What part of all this can I blame on the pandemic?"

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

"Do you ever get off that branch?"

"You call this opening up?"

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

I Pagliacci

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"More powerful than a locomotive...yes, but emotionally fragile."