Menopause Mood Maven T-Shirts

'Other women get hot flashes -- My wife has temperature tantrums.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"Mush on."

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

Post-psychoanalysis

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Oh, grow up!"

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

'Do you mind if I take the rest of the session to get your input on investor psychology?'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'Don't you think that this is more fun than using a breast pump?'