Memory Maven Gifts

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

Memory Clinic - Old What's His Name, Director.

"You don't need to register, sir - you were here yesterday."

"Wait, don't tell me...I left the chip-pan on."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Drool Marks

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

Human Brain

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

"You're doing great - keep it up."

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'