Memory Challenged Sipper Pillows

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'I've got it written down...'

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

'How come you keep forgetting when it's your round?'

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

Why Elephants Never Forget.

"He's got a photographic memory."

When my memory was good, I could copy them word for word. These days, I'm lucky if I can paraphrase.

'What did we do before green tea?'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

'This may be a job for AmnesiaMan!'

"This memory foam mattress isn't working. I still can't remember where I put my glasses."

'Throw me the thing! That thing with leaves that hangs from the trees! You know! The Tarzan swing thing!'

'Hi, name and birthday, please!'

Kid coming home from school to parent: 'I couldn't remember my locker combination, so I got a tattoo.'

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'

Black and white version "Never forget a face, same telephone wire, Hitchcock film, what was it called?

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

'... so I put the combination in the safest place I could think of.'

'Remember me?'

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

"Don't worry if you can't remember where the drum is, grandad. I think your internal memory is full."

"Damn! They keys were right under my nose all along!"

Amnesiacs Anonymous.

'You're not paying attention' - 'Yes, I am!' - 'Okay, what colour was my jumper in the last picture?' - 'Err, white.' - 'Not even close... maybe I should start again, eh?' - 'No! No! Please! No!'