Memory Challenged Sipper Pillows

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'I've got it written down...'

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

'How come you keep forgetting when it's your round?'

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

"He's got a photographic memory."

'This may be a job for AmnesiaMan!'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

'What did we do before green tea?'

"This memory foam mattress isn't working. I still can't remember where I put my glasses."

'Throw me the thing! That thing with leaves that hangs from the trees! You know! The Tarzan swing thing!'

Kid coming home from school to parent: 'I couldn't remember my locker combination, so I got a tattoo.'

'Hi, name and birthday, please!'

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'

Black and white version "Never forget a face, same telephone wire, Hitchcock film, what was it called?

'... so I put the combination in the safest place I could think of.'

'Remember me?'

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

"Damn! They keys were right under my nose all along!"

"Don't worry if you can't remember where the drum is, grandad. I think your internal memory is full."

Amnesiacs Anonymous.

'Right, right, you get 3 wishes. Listen, you try being submerged in a $5 merlot for 4 years and see how good your memory is.'

'You're not paying attention' - 'Yes, I am!' - 'Okay, what colour was my jumper in the last picture?' - 'Err, white.' - 'Not even close... maybe I should start again, eh?' - 'No! No! Please! No!'