Meme Maniac Pillows

'Follow me, tweet me, poke me, link-me-in and treat me like the textual deviant I am.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'Bert's dog training.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

Obsession with the Internet.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

The Modern Novel.

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Mark Zuckerberg

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Moo Out Loud

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Alternative Medicine

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Uncle Donnie

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.