Meme Machine Pillows

'We didn't accomplish much at the meeting, but the video's gone viral.'

Coffee, jerk! What's the matter? Sadie discovered flaming, i.e. hostile and insulting interaction among internet users. It's been incredible. Who can sleep when you've got endless opportunity to make people feel like crud about themselves?! I also need prescription drugs and steroids. Flaming out.

Waiter holding a smartphone: 'Would you like it Instagrammed?'

"Why are you always making Kim Kardashian memes?"

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Moses separating his Laundry.

Moses on the web

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Stinkin' fake news!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"OMG, LOL!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

The Modern Novel.

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Mark Zuckerberg

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

Moo Out Loud

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Uncle Donnie

When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.