Market Meme Maker Pillows

'I need you to cheer up the investors.'

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Moses on the web

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"OMG, LOL!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

"Tinnitus?"

Sistine Selfie

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

American Gothic Selfie

Dinosaur Group Think

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

Hall of Fake Presidents

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"