Members Of Parliament Gifts

'You know, I can never tell from their conversations whether the members are Labour or Conservative.'

"It's a bit cramped but one night a month pays for six weeks in Barbados!"

"You're in my spot."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

Plain English group.

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

"All those in favor Retweet."

'Take a letter,'

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

Mice in the Commons

'That damn racial scandal.'

Structure of American Corporations

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Br... No Exit

How To Spot A Politician

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

'Excellent - it's unanimous!'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

'I would like to forward a motion to end this ceaseless bleating of idiots.'

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!